1. Go to someone’s office, greet them happily (it would be rude if you didn’t) and pour some wood shavings on their desk. (You should collect these wood shavings the day before. Freshness is key.) Then say, with a knowing smile, “Take a deep breath. I thought this would remind you of your childhood.”
2. Sit with your chin resting on your fist and smile kindly at someone. When they ask what you’re doing, tell them, “I’m just imagining what you were like as a small child.”
3. On Facebook, write personal messages like “Why haven’t you called me?” or “We decided to go to the mountains instead of visiting you because the mountains are closer” on people’s walls, instead of sending them as private messages like a normal person.
4. Walk into a meeting carrying quilting supplies and start quilting. After a few minutes, look up at everyone, throw down your supplies, and say, “I just feel like I’m carrying this entire quilting project on my own.”
5. Pretend you are riding a horse all day and use it as your only mode of transportation. Gallop proudly and make sure to bring some oats for your horse. They get really hungry.
6. In your school or work cafeteria, join the cafeteria workers by announcing “Time to sling some hash!” And then sling some actual hash. Which you’ve already prepared at home.
7. Go into a room full of people and stand quietly for a few moments before saying passive-aggressively, “It’s amazing how you can be in a room full of people and still feel all alone.” Then walk away sadly, looking back a few times before exiting.
8. On Facebook, go to your friend list and find your 27th friend. Then go back to your newsfeed, and for every 4th post, tag that person and write “ ________________, can you believe this?”
9. Walk up to someone that you don’t know (or perhaps doesn’t even work at your place of employment) and begin narrating everything they do. People love that.
10. On Facebook, on a friend’s personal (non-sad) post, write “This feels like fake news. Have you checked Snopes?”
11. Get to work super early and find a room where a big meeting is being held. Arrange all of the furniture in a bizarre fashion. Then find a spot where you can sit on the floor cross-legged. When people come in for the meeting and start complaining, pronounce loudly, “Abstract art. It’s meant to be appreciated, not understood!” Then storm out.
12. Go up to someone, stand beside them, and start singing your favorite song from West Side Story. Look at them and say, “Your turn.” If they don’t sing, say “You’re no longer a Shark” and walk away.
13. On Facebook, go to every third post and write “Hot.”
14. Go into someone’s office, dim the lights, and then lie down. Look up at the ceiling and say, “Well, I guess it all goes back to my childhood.” Then continue telling your story. At some point, look at them and say, “Shouldn’t you be writing some of this down?”
15. Wrap tiny blankets around each of your office supplies, explaining to everyone that it’s naptime, and ask if they could please talk a little more quietly. Then curl up under your desk and take a nap. All day.
16. Revel in the new friends that flock to you as a result of taking this advice.
Here it is. Steven's blog, where his thoughts about things are revealed. Good luck.