Hansel and Gretel and . . . Sadie is published by Lazy Bee Scripts. Click here to be taken to their website to get more information on it and to pick up your very own copy.
Synopsis of Hansel and Gretel and . . . Sadie
(3 M, 3 F, 2 M/F, 30 mins)
Sadie’s parents were lost at sea, and unfortunately she's been taken in by the parents of Hansel and Gretel, who make no attempt to mask their disgust at her and her love of reading. When all three children are abandoned in the woods, they meet a mysterious woman with a delicious house. Sadie knows better than to lick a stranger's house - but will she be able to convince Hansel and Gretel? Will their parents have a change of heart? And why is there a pirate in this story? All of these questions, along with seven other ones, will be answered in “Hansel and Gretel...and Sadie,” a wonderfully farcical adaptation of the Grimm Brothers classic that's oddly insistent on the importance of literacy.
The scene below takes place after the kindly old woman, or the Witch, has captured Hansel and Gretel, leaving Sadie outside the house alone.
Setting: The woods, very close to the Witch's house.
Narrator: Sadie didn’t know what to do. Although Hansel and Gretel were always mean to her, she couldn’t let them be eaten. Maybe she could run back home and get Mother and Father. Surely they wouldn’t want their kids to be eaten. So Sadie turned to run home, but as soon as she did she saw Mother and Father.
Sadie: You came back for us.
Mother: Durn tootin’. We got worried and decided we didn’t like leaving y’all out in the woods.
Father: And we definitely mean that. We ain’t lyin’.
Narrator: They were lying. A pirate had come to their door looking for crew and said he would pay big money to anyone who would sell him their children. He didn’t have many takers. As a matter of fact, he only had two: Mother and Father, who agreed to sell Hansel, Gretel, and Sadie.
Mother: Where’s Hansel and Gretel? We do miss them so.
Sadie: They’ve been captured by a witch who’s gonna eat them.
Father: Not if I have anything to say about it. No witch is gonna keep us from our money.
Mother: He meant our loving children.
Narrator: So Sadie led them to the house. Mother and Father were amazed at what they saw.
Mother: Is that candy? (The kindly old woman steps out of her house.)
Witch: Why, yes it is.
Father: Where are our children?
Witch: They’re inside getting turned into a delicious meal.
Mother: } (Together)
Father: } What?
Witch: They’re eating a delicious meal.
Mother: They are?
Witch: Oh, yes. Tell you what. Why don’t you treat yourself to some of my house while I go and set a place for you? After that, you and your children can walk back home.
Mother: That would be nice.
Witch: Well, you two go and enjoy yourselves. I’ll be inside preparing your children. (Mother, Father, and Sadie look at her.) To welcome their loving parents. (She exits into the house as Mother and Father shrug and began eating the house. Sadie runs over to them.)
Sadie: Look, the witch is lying to you. She’ll eat both of you if you go into that house.
Father: She never said that.
Sadie: Actually, she kind of did.
Mother: You’re just lying so you can have all the food for yourself.
Sadie: That’s . . . wait . . . come over here. Let me show you.
Narrator: Sadie walked Mother and Father over to the sign, but before they could read it the witch opened the door.
Witch: I was just about to come for you. Welcome . . .
Sadie: Hold on. They need to read the sign on your front door.
Witch: Be my guest. But I think one of you two should read it because this little one seems to want all the food.
Mother: I knew it. (To Father)
Mother: Read it.
Narrator: Now Father could read about as well as a sleeping squirrel. But he didn’t want anyone else to know.
Father: It says . . . says . . . eggs for sale.
Mother: Well, are they cow eggs? (The Witch looks at her, slightly confused.)
Witch: Indeed they are.
Mother: We do love cow eggs and we would buy some if we had any money.
Witch: Why, I’ll just give you some on the house.
Mother: I would rather have them in a basket.
Sadie: It doesn’t say that. It says that she’s gonna eat you if you go in.
Father: No, it doesn’t. I read it and it says “Eggs for Sale.”
Sadie: You can’t read.
Witch: Hush up, girl! Now, the food’s getting cold so . . .
Mother: So let’s eat.
Father: Finally. (They walk in. The witch, before shutting the door, looks back to Sadie.)
Witch: At least you tried to save them, which is more than they would have done for you. Now . . . I feast.
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